Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 133

CONTENTS

Issue 133

So, Honey, I Might Have Accidentally Drunk-bought Some GameStop Stock
by EMILY FLAKE
Unless we want to hold onto it and see how high it goes before it crashes? Ow! Ok, you’re right, but you didn’t have to smack me.

3 Restaurant Concepts Built to Last Through the Winter of Covid-19
by HILARY ALLISON
SNØRDNØRT also employs a paramedic on-site, to tell you when you have legit developed frostbite and need to leave.

The Cavalry Is Running Late
by BOBBIE ARMSTRONG
2:25 p.m.: Had to turn back. Alvin forgot his horse. Don’t feel like you have to wait for us to start the battle! 2:27: p.m.: Is there free parking in the scorched castle? 2:30 p.m.: Can’t find the horse. Checking bottomless pit in town square.

Names for Trump’s New Political Party
by BOB ECKSTEIN, MIKE SACKS, KIT LIVELY, PAUL LANDER, JESSICA DELFINO, and ANDY NEWTON
Mein Pillow, Trump’s Chumps, Turd Reich, and more!

The Weyland-Yutani Corporation, is Pleased to Announce that the Nostromo is No Longer Under Quarantine
by MICHAEL LEONETTI
With the recent and prolonged attack from the alien that popped out of Kane, we know there is a real sense of worry about becoming impregnated and/or mutilated by said alien.

Biden’s First 100 Days in Office, According to Cookie Monster
by AUSTIN ADAMS
Day 1: mr biden tell people cookie best diet Day 2: cookie monster have key to all cookie stores and factories Day 3: me (cookie monster) get promise to be cookie king.

#JeerAJob
by JOKE DEPT.
Stock Traitors, Hateress, Loon Officer, and more #JeerAJob on this week’s trending joke game!

Cartoons by
JEFF HOBBS, JOHN ANGLIN, PAUL LANDER, DAN MCCONNELL