Weekly Humorist Magazine: Issue 337

CONTENTS
Issue 337

Other Trump Stories Killed By The National Enquirer       
by KIT LIVELY
Trump Takes Pet Rock To Baseball Game Instead Of Eric, Ranch Dressing Fountains Placed Into Trump Apartment Bathrooms, And more! 

Excerpts from the Episode of SNL Hosted by COVID-19 
by JOE SCHIAPPA
Covid popped up on Weekend Update dressed as a syringe and playing Ozempic. Covid and Colin Jost could not get through the bit without breaking as Ozempic talked in an unexplained Southern drawl that people are more willing to put Ozempic in their body no questions asked than the Covid vaccine, “And, hell, that good for ol’ Ozempic.”  

10 Ways to Play Off Your Bloody Nose During a Work Meeting 
by JORDAN DE PADOVA and DAN GUTENBERG
Hold your coffee mug up to your mouth as though you're taking a sip and leave it there until it either fills up or the meeting ends.            

So You’ve Decided to Buy a Chainsaw at Your Age    
by DANNY GALLAGHER
CHAINSAWS ARE NOT PLAYTHINGS! We know that you’ve got a whole workbench and set of tools in the garage that you’re finally getting around to using because you realize the cost of hiring professionals is outlandishly expensive.  

LIST: Old Bands
by WILLIAM VAILLANCOURT
Rage Against the CPAP Machine, The Villages People, The Bald Eagles, and more!     

FAQ About How to Make This Your Best Seder Yet, So Long As No One Brings Up Israel
by DAVID GOLDSTEIN
Q: If you had one piece of advice for making a great Seder, what would it be? A: Dude, it’s in the title. Don’t bring up Israel. 

#HistorySitcoms
by WEEKLY HUMORIST HASHTAG GAMES
War of the Roseannes, My Name Is Earl Of Sandwich, Cybil War, and more #HistorySitcoms on this week's trending joke game!

Cartoons by
Rachelle Meyer, Jim Shoenbill, Ed Himelblau, Teresa Burns Parkhurst